The year is barely five days old and I’ve already got a ranking on the Worst Movies of 2007 list. Makes you feel good doesn’t it? Of course, January is popularly considered a dumping ground by studios as they focus more on rolling out their Oscar bait by taking limited release pictures from the holidays wider in the hopes of getting buzz. Happily N’Ever After is not one of these prestige pictures, although it clearly has the attitude of someone who thinks that they’re much funnier than they really are. In reality, N’Ever is a two-bit Shrek rip-off that I sat through like an anxious child in a doctor’s waiting room.



As the unsubtle and redundant narration points out, our setting is Fairy Tale Land where a Wizard (voice of George Carlin) uses magical scales in order to insure that all the characters in the land get their happy ending. The Wizard decides to go on vacation to Scotland for some reason, and leaves his two underlings Mambo and Munk (Andy Dick and Wallace Shawn) in charge. Their blundering, numb-skullery leads them to lose control of the Wizard’s powers and staff to Cinderella’s Wicked Stepmother (Sigourney Weaver), who quickly turns the kingdom into a haven for all the evildoers and villains. So it’s up to Cinderella (Sarah Michelle Gellar), Price Charming’s kitchen boy Rick (Freddie Prinze Jr.) and Mambo and Munk to save the day and return order.



Not being sure what I hated more, the presumptive genius of the humour or Prinze’s unjustly smarmy narration, I’ll begin with the technical proficiency of the animation. So yeah, it’s a piece of crap. The movements in a lot of the characters are so stilted it reminded me of a video game, like there were frames missing. Nothing about the characters really makes you feel their animas, which, as you could imagine is somewhat problematic for an animated movie. They just didn’t feel alive to me and in a fanciful story, its look and feel either gets you there or it doesn’t and I wasn’t buying what these guys were selling.



Which brings me to the story, and I can only assume the filmmakers had in their head an idea for Shrek 3, but were laughed out of Dreamworks’ offices. Being the brain trust that they are, they thought that they’re idea was a winner and decided to find some other poor sap to foot the bill for their “vision”. I can’t think of a single joke that worked or a gag that made me laugh out loud. Director Paul J. Bolger and writer Robert Moreland make it seem like they are working out of a rule book of pre-established, pre-determined guidelines in how you make a post-modern, self-effacing animated fairy tale. And any movie geek worth their salt knows that Prinze means the kiss of death. I can’t think of a single thing he’s done that I liked and more than that, he’s not that good of an actor to build name recognition on.



Frankly, if I had kids, I wouldn’t ever consider this worth seeing for their enjoyment. Am I a big meanie? Generally, yes—but I’m also a fan of animation and when I see valuable time, money and talent crash and burn like this I get angry. Parents (particularly dads) will probably enjoy the built like Jessica Rabbit curves of the Wicked Stepmother, but if that’s all there is to look forward for you, then you’re in trouble. After all, this is a kids’ movie and if you’re checking out the Wicked Stepmom then the filmmakers have succeeded at something they clearly never intended and maybe are in the wrong line of work.