Armored taps into the communal fantasy for anyone that works with large quantities of cash, the notion that with a little effort and good story, you could pocket a few bills with no questions asked. Of course, the plan concocted by six armoured truck drivers in the film Armored is probably over-simplified: Take the cash, hide the cash, report the truck as jacked, give the authorities a fake story, wait for the heat to die off, and collect your ill-gotten booty. Simple, right? I find it hard to believe that any armoured truck transport company wouldn’t have safeguards against employees with fertile imaginations and barren morals, but hey, I guess without such lapses, we wouldn’t have a movie.

The film stars an all-star group of bad asses. Matt Dillon, Laurence Fishburne, Jean Reno, Amaury Nolasco, and Skeet Ulrich play a seasoned crew of transport vets helping to break in the new guy, Ty (played by Columbus Short). Ironically, while Ty thinks he’s getting a respectable new job, he’s really being made the sixth man in a $42 million bank job. Now, Ty’s a good guy. He’s an Iraq War veteran, Silver Star recipient, and following the death of his parents, is also the sole bread-winner for his little brother. But despite his impressive past, Ty’s home life is not going so well. In fact, he’s been getting some “pretty angry notes” from the bank with words like “foreclosure” written at the top. So needless to say, a little extra cash would go a long way. Ty reluctantly agrees to the scheme, but he soon finds himself in a Mexican stand-off where shots are fired at both police officers and innocent bystanders.

The concept is pretty solid, and with a few winks and nods to the current economic climate, the plot is fresh and relevant enough to overlook the slightly tired Reservoir Dogs routine. The action sequences are decent, and they deliver an adequate amount of adrenaline-filled momentum to justify the price of admission. However, that adrenaline also comes at the cost of numerous plot holes that you could, well, drive an armoured truck through. As already alluded to above, there’s the incredible simplicity of the heist's scheme. Essentially, all the drivers do is park their armoured vehicles inside a derelict factory, stow the cash down a rusty stovepipe, or something, and pretend to be the victims of unknown hijackers, who coincidentally have left not even one shred of evidence behind. Now, I know real police work is nothing like CSI, but people think it is just the same. Don’t these guys watch TV?

The character-types are just as polished as the plot-lines, with each actor portraying classic heist-movie archetypes. Fishburne is the sadistic piece-of-work who uses humour to mask his deviant personality. Nolasco is the quiet-religious-type that goes off the deep end as his strict moral compass is compromised. Ulrich is the skittish one who’s the first to turn when the deal goes sour. Dillon is of course the cool and collected head man that’s always got a back-up plan. But beware, despite Dillon's pleasant demeanour, he hides a sinister streak that rises to the forefront whenever someone complicates his agenda. Short generally delivers an admirable performance as a decorated war hero, but at times he appears slightly too pacifistic for someone with combat experience. Meanwhile, Milo Ventimiglia’s lanky frame and lacklustre charisma makes him rather unbelievable as the young cop trapped in the centre of the criminal enterprise.

Still, Armored was surprisingly satisfying for what it was. On the whole, the film doesn’t deliver enough adrenaline rushes to be considered a traditional action-movie, while the interpersonal relationships aren’t pushed far enough to be considered a challenging drama either. In the end, the film reaches a pathetic and predictable conclusion where all things appear to work out in favour of the heroes, while all trust issues and moral lapses seem to be either forgiven or forgotten. However predictable the final moments are, the climax remains a surprisingly taunt and exciting piece of action. In that way Armored provides it audience with something to remember once the houselights go up. Like the third bowl of porridge from that Bear story, Armored doesn’t burn too hot, or seem especially chilled. Whether it’s just-right or not, is still up to you the viewer.