12 Rounds is ridiculous and I mean that in the best possible way. It’s ludicrous in an “I can’t believe they’re trying to get away with this” kind of way, and is a veritable what’s what of action movie conceits and clichés. From the moment we meet Officer Dan Fisher (played with muscular bombast and not much charisma by John Cena), we know that he’s a stand-up guy with a body built for nothing less than being a destroyer of man. If you liked WWE star Cena in his last film, The Marine, then you’ll love him here because it’s practically the same film.

Okay, so not quite. Cena’s Fisher finds himself the target of Irish madman Miles Jackson (Aidan Gillen), when the terrorist escapes from prison a year after his capture by Fisher, and the accidental death of his hot, wheelman girlfriend. Miles kidnaps Fisher’s girlfriend Molly (Ashley Scott) and then rings him to say that they’re going to play a simple game. Two players and 12 rounds. (Hey that’s the name of the movie!) If Fisher can survive all 12 rounds then he gets Molly back and a shot at recapturing Miles. If he loses… well, do the math. Oh, and some single-minded, incompetent FBI types are along for the ride.

So right of the bat director Renny Harlin keeps things simple, stupid. Miles is one of those omnipresent villains that can predict your every thought and manoeuvre before you’ve even decided what tie to wear to work that day. And in case you missed the little hint above, yes, this films plot is kind of, in its own special way, invocative of Speed, complete with a careening conveyance of public transportation that Fisher must find a way to stop before innocents are killed. Shoot, Miles even rigs Molly with a bombers’ vest at one point, just in case it wasn’t perfectly clear before that Speed was an awesome movie, but could have been better with more mindless action.

For his part Cena does well, or at least he doesn’t over think it. Kind of weird to say, but that is a compliment. Without having to revisit The Marine too much, I seem to recall some faint praise for Cena as an obvious inheritor of the brainless action crown vacated by Stallone and Schwarzenegger. Heck, not even the artist formally known as The Rock wants it anymore. Gillen is okay as the villain, but it’s been done better. And was it just me or did his Irish accent seem to fade in and out. (On further investigation, it turns out that he was actually born in Dublin. Weird.) Scott meanwhile seems cool with being the damsel in distress, heaven forbid she end up typecast anymore as the object of wrestler-turned-actor heroics (see Walking Tall).

But overall, 12 Rounds isn’t taxing on the intelligence, or even the patience of the audience despite the running time. In fact, the movie seems to almost get bored with itself as Miles seems to flub on a couple of the rounds. When the film focuses on Cena doing Herculean feats to rescue his woman, the film works; when it requires Cena to emote, or when it deals with the politicking FBI jerks lead by Steve Harris and Gonzalo Menendez, who really both should have been named “Agent Johnson,” it doesn’t. But joking aside, this is a serviceable film that doesn’t really standout, but fades into the crowd of other mediocre action films by the time the credit roll. 12 Rounds doesn’t break the mould, it is the mould.