I can’t say I’m familiar with the original Witch Mountain movies from the 70s other than that they were about alien kids and flying saucers, so by simply meeting those two criteria Race to Witch Mountain is a success. However, I do enjoy evaluating films on their own merits occasionally, and on the matter of this film I have to say that what satisfies the kids won’t mean much to the adults. It’s kind of silly, although occasionally inspired thanks to the natural comedic charisma of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and the way he interacts with the two human looking alien kids that hop a ride in his hack.

Johnson plays Jack Bruno, a former Vegas enforcer trying to go legit as a cab driver. Through no fault of his own, Jack finds himself the chauffer of brother and sister Seth and Sarah (Alexander Ludwig and AnnaSophia Robb) when they suddenly appear in the back of his ride and ask him to take them in a general direction outside of the city. Due to their very structured form of conversation and the apparent use of supernatural abilities, Jack quickly deduces that Seth and Sarah are aliens on a mission. Also, all sorts of people are trying to stop them like an alien bounty hunter and devious government agents led by the determined Agent Burke (Ciarán Hinds).

Basically, the glue that holds the film together is the interaction between Johnson and the kids. Johnson once again shows some serious comedic chops, despite the kiddie friendly material. But he’s got great timing and he’s just goofy enough to appeal to the kids without making their parents gag. Speaking of the kids, Robb and Ludwig are pretty good too, but while Robb is masterful playing a little aloof, Ludwig is so intense you’d think he was out of his Colonial Fleet uniform. When the story focuses on these three then everything’s aces, but when we get the woefully miscast Hinds, or his two buffoonish men in black lackeys played by Tom Everett Scott and Chris Marquette, things get downright agonizing.

But that’s just the human element, and at least about 50 per cent of the cast shows some sign of life, which is more than I can say for the special effects in this film. Now I realize that this is a remake of a film from the 70s, but is that any reason why the special effects should also look like they’re from the 70s? Of course not, and you have to be sharp, especially if some of the stuff you’re doing is going to be so painfully derivative. A lot the key sequences always reminded me of something that had benn done before in a better film, and that’s right down to the whole riffing on sci-fi geeks and UFO conspirators’ thing, as well.

And what it all means in the end is not exactly clear as a lot of thematic stuff is thrown at us and thrown away again quickly to get to another chase. Of course, looking for meaning in a Witch Mountain movie may be a ridiculous idea, but if I have to put up with Garry Marshall playing the umpteenth variation on the cantankerous old curmudgeon, then I should be getting more bang for my buck from the Marshall free elements of the film. In the end though, there’s nothing really to say in Race to Witch Mountain’s favour, but then again there’s nothing really to say against it either. It might have been cooler in 3-D, but then again it might have been cooler if it did something, you know, cooler.