There’s a certain aesthetic quality to the re-imagining of/reworked of/non-sequel to Friday the 13th, however we’re not talking about a movie series known for being overly concerned with how it looks. What made the Friday the 13th series so great, at least to me, was that many of the earlier iterations looked as if you could have gone out into the woods yourself and made the exactt same thing for nearly the same quality. There was a formula that encompassed everything from story mechanics to bad acting; Jason plus machete plus a bunch of nubile, hapless and horny teenagers equals mincemeat.

This Friday though seems to have aspirations beyond exploitation, although that certainly still plays a big part. In a way, this film shares a bit in common with Rob Zombie’s greatest hits Halloween remake, where the killer’s inner madness is given consideration before we get to the T&A&K. (The ‘K’ stands for ‘Kills’ obviously.) In the credits sequence we’re shown Mrs Voorhees getting decapitated in what’s basically a redo of the last five minutes of Friday One back in 1980. Flash-forward to present day and a new group of teens come face to sack with her son Jason, who kills all but one. Incidentally, it’s the one that bears a resemblance to his mother, Whitney (Amanda Righetti).

Be it for good or for ill, Jason’s psychological rationale for squirreling Whitney away in his hidey-hole aren’t really investigated that thoroughly. It would only waste valuable kill time, which is actually wasted anyway because the kills aren’t really that great. Disappointing, to say the least, and it’s a completely missed opportunity as well. The main characters include Whitney’s brother Clay (Jared Padalecki) and a group of college do-nothings led by rich, white frat boy Trent.

Trent is played by Trent Van Winkle, who’s filled the rich, white frat part to perfection with previous roles in Accepted and Transformers. It really says something that seeing this guy get his just desserts at the end of Jason’s machete doesn’t illicit even a little bit of smug satisfaction. After all, this is the guy that brings his good time bong buddies to his parent’s fancy cabin and then rags on them for acting like frat boys, while cheating on his girlfriend because she’s the only one in the group with human decency enough to feel for Clay’s plight. Padalecki is good enough to be the bland hero, but as a character note I have to say that he’s the worst investigator ever.

As for the big man, what can I say? Derek Mears is actually the best part of this as Jason, mostly because I think he was allowed to put his own spin on the character’s physicality and presence. In the later films, Jason kind of seems like a joke, a bit of self parody. After numerous movies basically showing in the end that he can’t be killed, the filmmakers decided to take that literally and show him being shot or dismembered about a million times over like some kind of human Timex watch. So I didn’t miss the old, lumbering Jason like I didn’t miss the slow and docile zombies in 28 Days Later. It feels like the humanity’s back in the character, which is an essential element that’s been missing in the action for a long time.

But one thing I did miss in this film was the old music; the to- to- to- to-ka- ka- ka- ka riff. I think I only recognized it once, but in the old Friday movies it was as omnipresent as the “dah-dum” in Jaws. What wasn’t missing though was anything resembling character because the teenage campers are pure id, caring only for satisfying their primitive pleasure needs. At this point, the terms for a satisfied customer are to see those kids die in as horrifying a way as possible, which is a condition that this Friday doesn’t satisfy. It looks great, no question, but can it sustain and launch another marathon ten movie series? I’m afraid not.