I thought that there’d be no movie more insulting to women this winter than Bride Wars. So it’s a true tribute to Hollywood that there were able to release two of these movies within a month of each other. But I do applaud the studio for smart counter-programming by putting on a female friendly alternative to the Super Bowl, even if the film in question is horridly redundant, predictable and tacky. It’s like Fargo if it were done by the same people that make every ridiculous Sandra Bullock romantic comedy ever to come off the Tinseltown assembly line. This is to say that it’s just about one of the most contrived products to come out in the still early calendar year.

The formula follows simply. A trussed up executive from Miami is given the stewardship of a factory in Minnesota to modernize it for the production of a new protein energy bar. Young Lucy Hill (played by Renée Zellweger) is a corporate climber with designs on the CEO’s chair, so she’s a good soldier and is preparing to make the factor work through the purchase of new equipment and the downsizing of old staff. But what’s supposed to be an in and out assignment, becomes something deeper and much more heartfelt as Lucy connects with the town folk, which includes good looking widower and union rep Ted (Harry Connick Jr.) Lessons about the value of good, old fashioned American hard work and small town, Mid-Western values follow.

Also, it’s as syrupy sweet as the sticky stuff that’s the foundation of all Slush Puppy flavours, just not as colourful. The plot plays on the notion that typically smart people act stupidly to suit the circumstances. Like when Lucy first arrives in Minnesota during a blistering snowstorm, she leaves the airport dressed only in a miniskirt and pullover. Like what? She’s never watched the weather channel before? The idea that it might be cold and snowy in the northern US in the winter, never occurred to her? She’s also a typical girlie girl that’s never lit a fire in a fireplace that wasn’t attached to an electric switch; she uses a lot of them big words that you get from fancy college learning; and is, of course, desperate to get out of Minnesota. At first.

Ted meanwhile is a manly man. He likes shooting at stuff, listens to country music, and drives an American pick-up as he sticks up for the working man. He doesn’t care much for this city girl that’s a shill for corporate America. At first. But slowly the two grow on each other, and a love connection is made through an errant bullet to the butt in a near-unfortunate hunting accident. It’s basically all part of the tourist package. The film portrays Minnesota as a sportsman’s paradise with nothing else to offer the women folk but weekly, group scrapbooking and baking. Has anyone in this town ever heard of the internet? Or the library?

And praise be the Coen Brothers for beginning that perpetuation of the Fargo accent, because that’s the way everyone in small town Minnesota talks. Except Ted of course, because then he’d look too goofy and he could never get a girl like Lucy no matter how pretty he is. So we’ll leave the obvious goofiness to Blanche Gunderson played by Siobhan Fallon, who’s perhaps best known for playing Edgar’s wife in the first Men in Black. There’s a whole lot of “Don’t cha knows” and “You betchas” which might have been cute in 1996, but have become universal signs of the dolt in the post-Sarah Palin era. If nothing else, it’s indicative of how very unimaginative the film is, like it was put together with the romantic comedy edition of Mad Libs.

But the unfortunate truth is that despite its numerous flaws, New in Town is relatively harmless and not altogether unfunny. It’s got heart at least, and doesn’t feel to be a genuinely soulless, Hollywood film. But that doesn’t make it any less a horrible cliché at times; almost as horrible as J.K. Simmons’ ugly ass beard. But if you can look past all that, and the beard, than you’ll able to subsist long enough through New in Town to be only vaguely disappointed. As far as romantic comedies go, this is definitely no joke.