LUCIDMEDIA

// Laguna Beach 

The O.C. was an intoxicating show for a little while, it was even fairly smart. It dealt with issues that may have been troubling for their audience, but more importantly they consistently entertained. The show found a familiar voice in its audience and delivered some short lived excitement. Really, it was the crest of the wave that swept through television with shows like One Tree Hill and Gilmore Girls. Predictably the O.C. has drowned somewhat and hasn't remained in the public conscious like other shows such as Lost or CSI.  

Now, when I heard of Laguna Beach I was told it was something like the O.C. but in real life. The only similarity mind you is that both shows focus on the rich and the spoiled; Laguna though revels in absolute shamelessness; showcasing a brain dead society of youth who are too wrapped up in themselves to even consider what 'responsibility' could possibly mean.

On one show, I watched 3 blonde haired, rouge lipped, doe-eyed girls hopping into a giant white Suburban SUV and failed to get the motor running. The owner of the automatic mammoth said she told her dad "she needed a new car"; that this one was basically disposable. The three girls then proceeded to shift to another car, equally as luxurious, and drive off empty headed. The thing that really gets me, among many other feelings, is their complete lack of consideration for their actions. Here's a lesson blonde haired girl # 375: an SUV produces the most toxic emissions out of any vehicle, your appetite for large cars and little brains raises both the price of vehicles and their demand, it also furthers demand for oil,  and oil, my little blonde, is the most sought after commidity in the world and is likely what began the wars currently escalating in the Middle East. Are you still going to ask your daddy to buy you 'a new one', or will you maybe consult a mechanic and get your car fixed? What happened to the times when we bought one good piece of equipment and then maintained it? Right, when they stopped making good equipment because we buy what is available.  

Aside from this blip in conscience, the rest of the show remains...well, without one entirely. The show follows around a group of grade 12 or first year university students with absolutely no vision of the future, no consideration of the past, and very little going on in the present. They spend most of their time worrying about girl friends or boy friends, what to wear and when, looking good and partying hard. One thing you never see in the show is their parents slapping them around saying 'I'm not going to pave your way through life!'. Mind you, the show then is probably more real than we'd like it to be. I always like to do a little math in these editorials, so let's begin: 

If 'Daddy One' owns 'Big Corporation A' and 'Blonde One' is 'Daddy One's' Daughter, more than likely 'Big Corporation A' will go to 'Blonde One'. If 'Blonde One' spends most of her time relishing in phony relationships with cheating boyfriends and remains close to backstabbing friends, she'll spend more time crying than she will learning how to manage 'Big Corporation A'. Finally, realizing that she's a complete numbskull, it will be too late. She'll either receive a position to destroy 'Big Corporation A' when 'Daddy One' dies, or become a puppet in a culture of inflated boobs, heroine infections, and spotlights. Sure, these are a lot of stereotypes, but 'Blonde One' isn't doing very much to obliterate them.  

The most frightening thing about the show though is that it is apparently real. When told about this show I was reminded about another show, Strange Love, which I will go over later, and how I thought it was staged and scripted. My friend mentioned that perhaps this show is the same way, and I can only hope it is. The thing is though, these kids are representing a culture, a youth: they are feeding a generation something. I am sure many kids think of this show as nothing but crap, but the many that do watch it spend so much time watching other people's lives slip about on a social ice rink, they fail to realize their own lives are slipping away from them. I believe that since the boundaries of television and reality have now been broken, our perception has altered greatly to the point that we allow television to construct our reality. Soon we might not even believe killing is unreasonable, that it is enitirely within our bounds, and that it will have virtually no effect; except maybe being showcased on CSI. Video games and movies have also construed our own perception of right and wrong to the point that we no longer consider ethics and morals; we only consider entertainment. I'm sure when 'Blonde One' watches the Middle East crisis unfolding on CNN, or FOX, or CBS, that she believes it's stock footage from 'what, like, 1960?". If you want more proof of impending doom, just watch Laguna Beach. 

// The Hills 

To make matters worse MTV has capitalized on the success of Laguna Beach, and have christened another show, The Hills, re-using some of the same characters as the Beach. The Hills follows only a few of the blonde haired girls in finding a life for themselves. Great, at least some of them have considered something outside of being a star in a reality T.V. show and have searched for jobs elsewhere. One particular show I saw had, mm, 'Blonde Two', auditioning for an intern job with 'Blonde Three' for Teen Vogue - or something like that - so, they get in there, sit at their little desks, spin their little pencils, write something, dress-up, look the part, then get invited to a big party after something like 3 days of working. They are each given positions and they each make vows not to screw anything up. Now, what could you possibly imagine happening next? They succeed? If only it were true. Of course, the girls screw up. 

'Blonde Two's' job is to keep everyone off a set of VIP couches; as in "No One Can Sit Here" in big red letters with a shark warning next to it. She's doing her job, the night is moving on, and the party is growing when suddenly one of her friends calls in a drunken stupor to ask if she, and her companions, can come into the party. Being a weak and impressionable teenager 'Blonde Two' allows herself to be manipulated and drags 'Blonde Three' into the mix to let the friends in. The friends come in and then *plop*, they sit right down on the couches. Eventually 'Blonde Two' gives up doing her job and joins in the fun. The funniest thing though was that a friend got in a fight with her boyfriend -aaww - and they mutually decided that the best place to let it out was in public, where the most attention could be drawn to them. Eventually the boss comes in and takes 'Blonde Two' aside saying "we'll talk later". If I were her, the boss, I must say, I'd have kicked 'Blonde Two' out with her 'friends', then fired 'Blonde Three' for being an accomplice, then 'Blonde Two' could have made the decision wether or not to keep people around who are only going to drag her down and do her in.

What becomes evident as you watch the show is the naive stupidity, ignorant selfishness, and narcissistic tendencies of these teenagers. These traits are always apparent in teenagers, it's nature, but never were they beheld in such glorified terms or with a sense that "'Blonde Two' did a good job to let her friends in, but mean old 'Boss Lady # 37' was being a meany and didn't want any friends near the pool".  

Do away with selling stupidity to prolong stupidity; quickly people, let's educate our youth before they tear this world to shreds. 

// Strange Love 

I'l make this one short: Flava Flav falls in "love" with...I don't know what her name is, but she's strange, that's for sure, and calls Flav "Fluffy Fluffy". It's not only nauseating but embarassing. I can only imagine what Chuck D think's of his sidekick after becoming a Reality T.V. phenomenon. Here's what I believe though: they're making it all up. I think they run two very separate lives and decided to fool viewers into thinking love could be this strange. One anecdote of Reality T.V. is the necessity to outdo anything: the most FEARLESS person, the most BEAUTIFUL bachelorette, the STRANGEST love. Sure the Guiness book of records was the closest thing that we used to have to judging people outdoing eachother, but we don't really need a dumb book that only gets more holographic as the years go on; all we need is a couple producers and some willing contestents to speed up the 15 minutes of fame cyclone.  

One moment that really tuned me into realizing the show was a farce was the moment "Floofy Floofy" turned his plane around to 're-unite' with his 'love' for one final moment. As he exited the plane he decided he only wanted a hug, not some big romantic kiss. It would have been just as romantic as if he said "Oh, babe, I forgot my watch around yo neck- gimme dat!" and swiped it off her. The moment not only made you cringe, but gave you the impression it must have been fabricated.  

I really do want to continue my bitter rant but my hands are dried and my mind is sore from trying to contemplate the stupidity of reality T.V. as of late. The good news though, is that television is finding new sitcoms, which are actually pretty good, and moving away from guilty pleasures like Big Brother 11, the Real World Nebraska, and Survivor Atlantis! Also, audiences are becoming more and more interested in their own hidden treasures with such talent shows as So, You Think You Can Dance, America's Got Talent, and The One. Do I feel a creative surge brewing in the lightning? I sure hope so.