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Looking at the original The Inglorious Bastards

Written by Andrew Skinner Thursday, 20 August 2009 11:02

The spelling is about the only thing that will ever confuse The Inglorious Bastards with Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds, I reckon. The original 1977 Italian exploitation movie version of Bastards was directed by Enzo G. Castellari, who was also known for Hell’s Heroes, Deadly Mission, Counterfeit Commandos, G.I. Bro and in its English Philippine version, The Dirty Bastard. But while exploitation is the genre, what’s really being exploited in this spaghetti war movie is the audience. Even if you are a fanatical 70’s B movie fan like Tarantino, who likes Technicolour intros and countless unrealistic explosions. But if you were dazzled by it at the time, I don’t see why you should be now. Movies that took themselves seriously have turned out to be funny but this one never took itself seriously, and it shows. Is a hand grenade saltshaker funny?

The movie’s tag line is “Whatever the Dirty Dozen did they do it dirtier.” In exaggerated American cockiness are Lieutenant Robert Yeager (Bo Svenson), who is AWOL for flying his fighter plane across the channel to see his girlfriend; a black private named Fred Canfield (blaxploitation star Fred “The Hammer” Williamson) who’s accused of murder; an irritating character always pointing a knife at someone; a coward who pees his pants when the shooting starts, and a guy with shoulder length hair who carries all kinds of save the day gadgets with him.

The self-centered quintet arrested for murder and cowardice are being carted off for imprisonment and execution when their convoy is attacked. They escape and become a happy co-operative team of cigar chomping acrobats and sling shot sharp shooters with magical killing abilities. I knew what Hogan’s Heroes were after but with these post-Vietnam war guys I’m not so sure. I’m guessing that without intelligence or even free will the assorted hooligans somehow manage to do the right thing, which is fighting this war, and they don’t need the hated discipline of the army to do it. 

They walk into their troubles almost purposefully, their personalities displaying the nonchalant opposite of soldiers, but maybe this is the joke. The Dirty Dozen were blackmailed with death and Kelly’s Heroes fought for gold, but our unstuck heroes rather than just escaping the war by walking to Switzerland are guided by their friendly German deserter, needlessly surrender to the Germans twice, take over a Nazi castle, mistakenly kill American commandos dressed as German soldiers, help the French resistance in a suicidal attempt to take control of a train and its important bomb secrets, and screw up an opportunity with bathing naked German women. Their survival dressed as Germans in occupied France [actually Italy] is compromised time and time again because one of them is black. Is this an Italian comment on the careless ease and confidence of post-Vietnam American power? Regardless of how great their dissension they succeed at misadventure.

Tarantino was only inspired by this movie it seems and he didn’t want to remake it. A story is not essential to an enjoyable film but it needs to have style to work, and this doesn’t. It is absent The Wild Bunch’s cinematic violence and romance, but the music might be the only thing redeemable here composed by Francesco De Masi in the dramatic drummer boy tradition like the great Ennio Morricone. But otherwise slow motion explosions are just not enough. Even if it is Italian Ameriploitation, all of its film aspects amount to nothing but a fistful of shrapnel.