The Farwell to Bush Movie Marathon
Is it the prospect of a fresh-faced young guy from Chicago sitting in the Captain’s Chair of the Free World that’s got people so excited? Or is that George W. Bush will be returning to Crawford, Texas to clear brush full-time and never be in a position of sweeping authority again, that’s got us more excited?
We live in interesting times for sure, and what happens next no one can say. Will the economy get better, or will it continue to drive us deeper into despair and Great Depression references? Will Americans finally know the joys of free healthcare, the social safety net, or quality public education? Who can say, it goes either way depending on who you ask. No matter which way you come from, there’ll be a lot of eyes watching on the 20th to see how it’ll all begin.
But before getting to all that, let’s celebrate the man that made the last eight years possible. You heard me. For your entertainment pleasure, I’ve put together this package of filmed delights to honour the departing 43rd President of the United States. It’s sometimes hard to tell people how much you like them, and for some people much harder than others. But I think these films say it all. Pick and choose the ones you want to watch; schedule a nightly showing or do them all in a 24-hour, countdown stretch to the inauguration.
Team America: World Police
The Intro: This is the way America should always deliver justice: swift, decisive, and without a single regard for collateral damage to people and property, because the single most important thing in the world is keeping America safe from the Axis of Evil. Speaking of which, Kim Jong-Il is preparing to bring the world to its knees by supplying terrorists with WMDs and employing the subversive tactics of the Film Actor’s Guild.
Why it’s a pick: Effortlessly skewering the jingoism and macho-patriotism of the right and the celebrity egotism and activism of the left, Team America may be the most astute and even-handed satire to come out of the Bush years. Even right-wing commentator Andrew Sullivan called it “brilliant” and coined the term “South Park Republican” in reference to Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s other major satirical work.
Mars Attacks
The Intro: In Tim Burton’s 1996 film, based on the gruesome Topps’ trading cards from the 1960s, one general (played with iron guts determination by Rod Steiger) is the lone voice of reason as the President, his Press Secretary and his scientific advisors make contact with the arriving Martians. General Decker warns that the Martians are no good, technologically superior and have the whole planet surrounded with their twittering flying saucers, and advises a pre-emptive strike, but the peaceniks at the White House write him off as paranoid.
Why it’s a pick: Because the real world doesn’t work that way. General Decker knew that the Martians had a death ray up their sleeve and he was proven right. Just as the Bush administration tried to warn the world that Saddam Hussein had some bad stuff ready to unleash on the world, like whatever Dr. Germ and Madame Ebola were supposed to be cooking up. The world scoffed and said “Don’t do it” about any attack on Iraq, but Bush ordered it anyway and was proven… wrong. Yeah, Saddam was bluffing and six years on, Iraq still looks like the final scene of Mars Attacks, but without the gallant march home by Jim Brown, or the victory song of Tom Jones.
The Day After Tomorrow
The intro: Heroic climatologist Dennis Quaid tries to warn America and its subsidiaries (the rest of the world) that disaster’s pending in an enormous climate shift that will sink the Earth into a new ice age. Nobody listens, because the idea of global warming causing an ice age is stupid, and so is science. People think Quaid’s weatherman is a quack until Manhattan is flooded and super-tornadoes level L.A.
Why it’s a pick: Because Canadian actor Kenneth Welsh plays the doubting Vice President and he’s the spitting image of Dick Cheney, both in looks and thought processes. I think I remember at the time of the film’s release director Roland Emmerich said that any similarities were purely coincidental, but come on. We’re seriously meant to think that there’re no similarities when Welsh really looks like Cheney?
Wag the Dog
The intro: A Washington spin doctor played by Robert De Niro hires a veteran film producer played by Dustin Hoffman, to create a fake war with Albania to distract the media from a Presidential sex scandal in the days leading up to an election. Hoffman based his character of legendary producer Robert Evans, right down to the square-framed glasses.
Why it’s a pick: Although generally cited as a Clintonian tactic of media distraction, he wasn’t the last to use it. Between 9/11 and the 2004 Presidential election, the terror alert level was changed from “yellow,” meaning “elevated,” to “orange” or “high,” a total of six times. Number of times it’s been raised since January 2005: twice. And the reasons in the alert changes are almost never revealed. So you tell me: if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck… oh wait, wrong animal.
Stop Loss
The intro: A group of Iraq war veterans return home to a hero’s welcome. But when one of the soldiers (played by Ryan Phillippe) finds that instead of a discharge, he’s getting another tour of duty in Iraq, it sends him into crisis trying to decide between doing his duty and going back, or following his conscious and desert. Meanwhile, other soldiers from the same unit have trouble readjusting to civilian life and are conflicted about their future either in or out of the military.
Why it’s a pick: This film really captures well a couple of the major dynamics of the Bush years. First and most obvious is the over-reliance and strain on the U.S. military, particularly Nation Guard troops who’ve been sent overseas to bolster regular army despite the traditional role of the guard. Secondly, there’s the “chickenhawk” factor; or how many of the Bush administrations top officials and supporters, usually the same people who were most fervent about going to war, didn’t serve in uniform. In fact Dick Cheney got five educational deferments to keep him out of the army.
Three Kings
The intro: In the aftermath of the first Gulf War, three army reservists find a map to Saddam’s hidden bunkers, where millions of dollars in stolen Kuwaiti gold is being kept. They locate and secure the gold easily, but in the process they decide to help Suni militiamen that answered George H. W. Bush’s call to rise up against Saddam, only to be abandoned by the coalition when they do.
Why it’s a pick: A hint at things to come, maybe? A simple plan to make easy gains turned complicated by broken promises, abandoned allegiances and a political situation that escapes the understanding of the all-knowing military machine. Three Kings was the supreme answer to the jingoism of the First Gulf War by showing the dirtier side of the conflict. It’s a wonder anyone wanted to go back to Iraq, in force, in the first place.
All the President’s Men
The intro: Two Washington Post reporters make their mark and ruin a presidency by uncovering a plot at the highest levels of government to sabotage President Nixon’s political rivals. It’s what every reporter wants to be, and every politician’s afraid of becoming.
Why it’s a pick: Come on, you’ve got to ask? The generation of reporters that grew up in awe of the deductive power of Woodward and Bernstein and then wanted to be them, seemed to drop the ball for a while there. And considering the scandals people are already aware of, the last thing anyone from the Bush Administration wants is to see an eager reporter with a big shovel. 
Fahrenheit 9/11
The intro: Released at the height of partisan rancour during the 2004 Presidential election, documentary filmmaker Michael Moore traced the connections between the Bush and bin Laden families and how this connected on the road to 9/11. The film was also highly critical of the mass media and its coverage of the lead up to the War in Iraq.
Why it’s a pick: Basically, you can’t have a Farewell to Bush movie marathon without it. And though everybody is now highly critical of President Bush, Michael Moore got there first in terms of popularizing it, and he was figuratively tarred and feathered for his efforts. The group “Patriot Americans Boycotting Anti-American Hollywood” even had a petition on their website calling for Moore to be charged with treason. Despite all the muck-raking though, the film made $220 million worldwide, with more than half of that amount coming from the domestic box office.
Black Hawk Down
The intro: Based on the true life experience of task force raid to capture two of Mohammed Farah Aidid's top aids during the Battle of Mogadishu in Somalia, the film follows several soldiers, cut off from the main force by militia and angry citizens after their rescue chopper is shot down. Third world dictators, urban combat, a population angry and embittered towards the United States; does that sound like anything to you?
Why it’s a pick: Black Hawk Down is often reported to be one of Bush’s favourite films, which is interesting given the subject matter, making this selection either prophetic or ironic. It’s interesting that Clinton took a bigger hit over Mogadishu, but with the success of the surge, the present condition of Iraq may be seen as one of Bush’s few successes.
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
The intro: Mike Meyer’s plays an egocentric buffoon that literally pursues [Doctor] Evil across the globe, thwarting his attempts to end freedom and democracy as we know them.
Why it’s a pick: Again, this is reported to be another one of Bush’s favourites. And it’s a fun and disturbing way to end the marathon. Why disturbing? Well ask yourself this: what’s more unsettling: the fact that Bush chose this over the far superior original Powers, or that inside the head of the man who can literally unleash Armageddon with a push of a button, is the mind of a 14-year-old boy?
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